Suicide
by VampireFreak
Summary: Draco is so alone. He’s turned to cutting. He watches his life through a screen and just wants to live his own life. The cutting pulls him back to reality but when he attempts to commit suicide Harry rescues him and tries to pull Draco from the darkness
1. suicide attempts

Ok this was bored so I started writing this... I know it's short but this is only a random quick thing... may continue depending on reviews.

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters just the fiction... then again loads of people have an unhappy Draco... Hmmm....

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Chapter one - Suicide attempt 

Draco watched the blood pour from his slender wrist wondering how long until the darkness would take over. He'd become desperate and alone.

The cut ached and Draco smiled at the feeling. Feelings he hadn't felt in such a long time returned. His father always locked his door and now he had finally forgotten and Draco had gotten his knife from his father's study. His father had taken anything from Draco's room that would be able to hurt Draco and now with he felt alive again. He could see through his own eyes rather than the screen he was watching through. He was himself at last even if it was to only be a few minuets.

With his only friend being himself Draco dreamed of being loved. Anyone... to have just a friend! Was one friend too much to ask for? The one person he'd tried to befriend had turned to another. Draco knew that was his own fault and perhaps that was why he was attempting to die? It wasn't as though anyone would truly care. Blaize, the only person he talked to hadn't written all summer. Blaize preferred to be on her own but she spoke to Draco on occasion. Blaize hadn't even written to him asking why he had yet to return to Hogwarts.

The reason was of course his father hadn't allowed him. His father, after noticing cuts, burns and scars over Draco's body, decided to take the matters into his own hands. Lucius Malfoy couldn't have a weakling for a son! Turning to self mutilation was the last straw in Lucius's mind.

--FLASHBACK--

Lucius trailed his eyes over Draco's body. Draco, who'd just gotten out of the shower, was only wearing a towel his body in easy view. It was obvious to anyone what the boy had done to himself but Draco lied to his father. Draco told his father that he was just clumsy, but everyone knew Malfoy's were graceful and never clumsy. Lucius back slapped his son. Draco fell to the floor from not only the power of Lucius but the shook of it. Lucius had never hit Draco.

"You boy are a disgrace to the Malfoy name." Lucius crouched down and hissed in Draco's ear. "What's wrong boy? I get you the wrong clothes? I do something wrong? Or are you just a spoilt little brat who wants attention! Well now … I can give you attention." Draco didn't like the sound of that. He didn't like the sound of his father's zipper either. Draco felt the towel being ripped away from him and Lucius straddled him and buried into him stealing Draco's virginity away with it.

--END FLASHBACK--

It went on like that throughout the summer and now a month into the Hogwarts term, even though he didn't go, he'd had enough of the hurt and pain Lucius made him feel. Even being alone was better than the pain … dying was better than the pain.

He felt darkness take over him slowly pulling him into the unknown but before he left the world behind he swore he saw bright green orbs above him. _Harry…_

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A/n - see very short. Any way please give me a review! :D 


	2. back to the living

Chapter two – back to the living

Although he kept his eyes closed Draco regained consciousness. _No no no no!_ He opened his eyes quickly only to shut them again to protect his eyes from the burning suns rays. _Why couldn't they let me die in peace? Lucius is surly not going to stop... Just who did save me? _Draco lifted his arm to protect his eyes when he opened them again. _God I hate this bed. Sunshine always wakes you up. Damn sun. _He looked up at his wrist where he saw the scabbed over cut which had not killed him the way he wanted. He felt his arm ache. Constant aching that kept him in the real world just like when he'd cut deeply into his skin. He'd come close but not quite far enough but it wouldn't stop him trying again. Draco slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position and started to pick at the scab much like he would with any other cut. He blood flow wasn't as steady as before as it wasn't a fresh cut. He watched the blood trickle down his arm until madam Pomfrey made an appearance. She sighed and shook her head. She pulled a chair beside Draco and took his wrist. Almost as if she'd knew what would happen she pulled a cream and massaged it into the reopened cut. The scab quickly grew over again.

Green eyes watched Draco. Just as they had all of the last year unnoticed by Draco. The green eyed boy was of course Harry Potter. Harry had watched new cuts and burns develop over Draco's body. That was only of course when Draco forgot to cover his arms or legs. Draco often rolled his sleeves up in potions forgetting the marks on his arms. In Harry's dreams he saw Draco being raped by his father. Thinking it was just Voldemort sending him images Harry ignored them. When Harry dreamed that for the seventh time since the beginning of school Harry decided to check up on Draco as he had yet to arrive at school. Supposedly Draco was on holiday but Harry felt something was up with the excuse. It would seem Harry came just in time to save Draco.

--FLASHBACK--

Panic took over Harry when he saw Draco's bleeding wrist. He knew Draco was unhappy and had resulted in him relying on self harming. Harry had watched from a distance for about a year but knew there was no point interfering as Draco wouldn't want him. He couldn't believe Draco would attempt suicide. Draco was stronger than that surly.

Harry walked to Draco as Draco blacked out. Harry lifted him and went to the fireplace where he had come from.

"Hogwarts infirmary!" He shouted as he threw in some floo powder into the fireplace. He quickly and carefully place Draco onto a bed and then found madam Pomfrey who was rubbing cream onto a cut on her leg. The cream made the cut scab over. "Madam Pomfrey! It's Draco he's ..." Madam Pomfrey already knew as most of the teachers and herself had watched the boy. They all suspected something like this would happen. She nodded and rushed to Draco. She worked on stopping the blood a few minuets with advanced magic. Then using the cream she'd used on the girl she applied it on Draco's wrist.

"He's lost a lot of blood but he should survive it." Harry nodded and thanked the mediwitch

--END FLASHBACK--

Draco felt eyes watching him. He turned to the door where he saw a face but he was to tired know whose face it was. He could see green eyes watching worriedly. _Worried? Who is this green eyed boy?_ The face disappeared quickly and Draco ignored his thoughts falling into a deep sleep.

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A/n - well I continued. No ones on msn and I've already got seven reviews!! :D

zoomaphonethepirate - Thank you!!The next day soon enough to update? :p

VirginSerpent - Thank you!! Hope this is ok...

Black-Sichan - Thank you!! Draco made it alright but there might be more attmepts. Me not quite sure yet.

Catmint - Thank you!! I'll keep the Blaise with an S in mind. If I forget sowey...

Dru Black - Thank you!! Grins I hope I do good enough with this to stay on your favs list.

SilverDragon161 - Thank you!! The chapter answered your question as to why Harry was at Draco's. Sowey it's not any longer but I keep writting this early in the morning as I can't sleep at the moment so I'm too tired to write much. shuts up with excuses and hits self around head with a lamp. Bad me bad bad.

Tamyka - Thank you!! I hope you enjoy reading more. I hope to read more reviews hints :P


	3. Betrayal

Chapter three – betrayal

Draco's dreams tormented him. Teased him with memories from the past. Being alone and Lucius... Then there was always green eyes watching him. The eyes showed every emotion. He cold read them all. Desire, lust, unhappy, worried and love. Once Draco woke up he was intrigued. _I know those eyes but who...? _He was desperate to know but when he asked madam Pomfrey who had brought him she told him it didn't matter and that he should rest.

An hour of thoughts went through his mind when Professor Dumbledore and Professor Snape walked into the room. His godfather Severus carrying a tray of food. Draco didn't realise that he was in fact very hungry until he smelt the food. Severus placed the tray on Draco's lap and Draco dug in. Draco downed his pumpkin juice when a calming feeling crept over him.

"What happened over the summer Draco?" Dumbledore asked softly. Draco felt himself explain about his father finding out about him self harming and how he'd started to rape him and then decided he wasn't good enough to return to Hogwarts. _I should've known they'd pull this trick. _The truth serum wasn't as powerful as some but Draco was too weak to fight the truth spilling from his lips. Tears of hurt spilt down his face. They hadn't even tried asking him, they'd assumed he wouldn't tell them. How could he trust anyone when all they did was cause him hurt? Draco looked up to his godfather. Hurt shined in his eyes. Severus couldn't hold the look. He looked away. _They all hate me. Look at Sev. He's turned away from you. He can't stand the fact I'm his godson! _Draco watched the men leave.

"Whoever saved me from death must care..." He whispered to himself quietly. "But who was it?" He knew the green hues he had seen were of the one who had saved him but he couldn't think who those eyes belonged to. _They are so beautiful... _Closing his eyes he pictured those eyes that enchanted him.

The boy whose eyes they belonged to was sitting in the great hall picking at his food not really caring for himself but for Draco. He couldn't stay away from the boy much longer. He was desperate to see him.

"I hear his dad raped him..." "You know he has cuts over his arms you see them in potions." "I bet he's after attention." Harry heard the whispers. About Draco of course. Harry tried to shut them out but he could hear them take over his mind. His mind kept on listening out for Draco. _Is he ok? Did I find him quick enough? _Harry had figured out why he'd stared at the boy last year. Why he wanted to touch and kiss him and to take away his pain. He loved him. It was strange how could anyone love someone without really knowing them? The thing was Harry knew about Draco. More than he wanted too...

Draco sobbed. He had been betrayed by one of the only people he trusted. He knew now that he shouldn't have ever trusted anyone. If you did you were weak. _But me hurting myself any stronger?_ He knew that he was weak.

Footsteps sounded over the infirmary floor. Draco looked up to see green eyes. Not the same green sparkling eyes of a boy but dull eyes of his friend Blase.

"Hello Draco..."

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A/n ok another chapter today as I was bored. Wow I'm doing well for someone who has no idea what they are doing :D.

Thanks to the reviewers!

SilverDragon161 - yes it's short again oops :p

Dru Black - if you wish it I shall update! :p

theTigersFire - Thank you. Not sure if I'd call the fic lovely... hmm interesting.

moonlit-shadow0x - I updated now you can read :D

zoomaphonethepirate - there you go I've updated.

There we go now you can all give me more reviews helping me with what I should do with this... any ideas with what could happen?


	4. kisses from the green eyed girl

Chapter four – kisses from the green eyed girl.

"Hello Blaise." Draco said coldly. He looked up at her heartless face. He didn't know what made her that way. In the first and second year she had been as happy and talkative as the next person. Then again so had he. They were best friends but something happened to her between he second and third year when she grew cold. Draco had a hunch she had experienced what he had but he knew she would never talk to him about it. Blaise sat on the end of the bed. She stroked his face with the tips of her fingers and stared into his eyes. She couldn't hole the look just as Severus couldn't. Tears slipped down her face.

"He shouldn't have done that Draco... The deal... He promised me. Then again he is a Malfoy." She laughed bitterly. Draco continued to watch her. She sighed and looked back to him. She leant and kissed Draco softly. _But it's not who I want...the eyes... they where not hers. Who are you my green eyed boy...? _Draco tried to convince himself to stop the kiss but he couldn't. Her tongue trailed across his bottom lip asking permission which he gave her. These kisses where sweet and he felt safe. These kisses blocking the memories of the rough kisses Lucius had given him. Their tongues danced together. He felt her smile against his lips as hey pulled away from one another. He could feel his smile too. "I knew we could be together someday." She whispered their foreheads touching. "He promised not to hurt you but he did... then again you hurt yourself. I did it for you and he broke his promise." Tears trailed down her thin cheeks. Draco wasn't sure how to comfort the girl.

"What did you do for me? What promise?" She shook her head. _She can't care for me so much if she intends on keeping things secret..._ "Please Blaise tell me everything." She looked away.

"I let him... I let him...I'm his..." Tears were flowing steadily as the memories came back. She found it difficult to Draco what she was.

--FLASHBACK—

"Please! Please Sir don't hurt him." Blaise begged. "He didn't mean it you know that!" She was looking to the floor so Lucius couldn't see her face but he grabbed at her hair and pulled her head up so she could meet his eyes. Shameful tears rolled down her normally cheerful face. "I'll do anything just promise me you'll never hurt him." He flung her head forward.

"You love my son but you must not. He will find someone better than you. Someone who won't shame him with such things like crying. Malfoy's do not cry and nor do the wives of Malfoy's. You can't be with him but I will not harm him though... for a price."

--END FLASHBACK--

The deal. The dreaded deal. The one so Draco could live happily without harm from his father. The deal where she had to be his whore. Anytime he needed someone she was called. The first time was different though. She had in fact begged to do anything else but he'd crawled on top of her and raped her. After that she knew it was far easier to sleep with him than be raped. It hurt less. Now though? He'd broken the promise. Now she could break her deal and be with Draco. Both needed someone and now both had someone.

Blaise looked away while she told him. He just turned her head and kissed her softly hoping to make her happy. "I love you Draco... You know that right?" He nodded before kissing her again. He kissed her so softly believing she could break at any moment. He'd waited for so long for someone and now he had someone. He broke away from her and saw over her shoulder the sad eyes of the green eyed boy. The boy was gone in a flash so once again. _Green eyes... I'm sorry. _

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A/n ok Like I said I have no idea what I'm doing just going with the flow!

Thanks to the reviewers!!

GordoLuvr4Life8988 - I'm a writting I'm a writting!! God Isn't four chapters in two days good?!!

zoomaphonethepirate - Harry's not helping yet but he will at some point... not sure when. hmmmm...

puresilver - ok I'm not very good with the whole long chapter thing but I've written three chapters today... they prob won't be out until tomorrow but still!

Oh yes I'm off to college soon. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Sorry. Lost my mind a bith there anyway I will have free lessons so I can prob be able to do some of this in the library when I find out no one there likes me :'( Well I hope that don't happen but yeah from next Monday I may not be able to update so often. Anyway! Review please! :D


	5. Happy ending?

Chapter five - Happy ending?

Harry was distraught! He couldn't believe that Draco wasn't gay like he was. He should've guessed. Draco liked Blaise. Blaise the cold hearted bitch of Slytherin.

He deserves better. Maybe she isn't as bad in person but where was she when Draco was cutting open his arms? Burning his skin? Where was she to save him from his attempted suicide?

Harry watched from the sidelines over the next two months. The two acted so in love and he couldn't stand it. They kissed held hands and even the Gryffindor's where shocked at how kind Draco was being. Draco was happy... Sort of. He was tempted to hurt himself like Draco had but he wouldn't. He needed to protect Draco. He needed to stay watching him. He watched from the distance. Draco seemed happier but Harry saw the cuts and burns over his body. They'd grown less but they were still appearing.

Draco kept seeing flashes of green eyes everywhere. Green eyes was watching him closely. The jealousy and pain in the eyes. He saw it. He hated it and that's why he still hurt himself. The pain that sent his guilt away. There wasn't enough room for both. The green eyed boy had saved him and now he wouldn't be able to love him because he was falling in love with Blaise. She was beautiful and intelligent and no longer hid anything from him. She was no longer cold towards him. She'd laugh and cry with him. It was what Draco had always dreamed of. His father of course had sent threats to the girl for not coming to him when he wanted to have sex. Little did they know that Lucius Malfoy was planning something big...

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A/n majorly short please forgive me! It's two thirty in the morning and I'm tired as hell can't sleep, printing fanfictions to read (yes I am a fanfiction freak) and I have college induction tommrow. Ah yes I have finally been getting a plot in my head!! WOOW!! Not sure how good it is or how it will work out but still it's a plot! Not just the boredom talking! :D Well It's kinda not boring when you get 21 reviews in uhhh 4days... Well thats good for me! Even though that was with four chapters and some people get hundreds for 2chapters... hints! Then again if I got too many reviews I wouldn't be bothered to thank all of them! 

Thanks to the reviewers!! :D

Malfoyz-babe - It's going to be Draco/Harry at some point not sure when though... going with the flow!

GordoLuvr4Life8988 - well took a little bit longer for this chapter.

Dracori - Ok I generally use Blaise as a guy in the fanfictions I don't put up but I just thought a girl Blaise would fit. Oh and the fact I've read the big book of baby names ( no I don't have kids! Just need ideas for names in fanfictions (again I am fanfiction freak)) and Blaise is a girls name.

SilverDragon161- Draco's not leading her on he's just confused to what he's feeling. He's falling in love with Blaise even though he want his 'green eyes'

theTigersFire - written more even though its not much but I gave my excuse!! They will get longer... maybe.

Tamyka - I don't really think I'm a good writer it's just something I enjoy to do.


	6. falling

Chapter six – falling

Harry watched the sleek black owl fly across to Blaise once again. Many times Harry had seen it but he never though about who could be sending her owls or why she would become so pale. Draco became pale too. This owl was the Malfoy owl Harry soon discovered. Harry now found himself following Blaise through the hallways toward the Slytherin common room. He wasn't all that sure why he had done that. He just felt he needed to make sure she didn't do something stupid and hurt Draco in the process. _I love him... _The thought that haunted his mind. He would do anything. Draco was his weakness and no one could know that. _I can't even tell Draco...he would never understand it... then why do I follow him?_ The same argument always going through his mind, the same questions and answers. Harry loved Draco.

Harry watched Blaise and quietly followed her into the common room. _Wish I had my invisibility clock._ He watched as Blaise screamed tore the letter in pieces and then threw them into the fireplace. She turned and saw Harry watching her. She glared.

"What do you want Potter?" _Something I will never have..._ Harry only sighed. "Tell me! Why are you here?" She hissed.

"I don't know." Harry replied calmly. Her eyes narrowed and Harry sighed once again. "I followed you..."

"Why?" She asked her voice filled with curiousness. Harry looked towards her feet. He couldn't answer. How could he tell her he wanted to make sure she was ok for Draco's sake? How could she ever know? She would never allow Harry to love someone she loved.

"I can't say." Harry felt her probe into his mind. _She's strong... _Mind barriers shut her out but she went in deeper. Harry tried to keep them closed but she kept pulling out things from his mind. She saw Harry watching Draco, saw him watching her and saw him saving Draco. She could feel how he felt and she gasped at the amount of love she felt Harry had for Draco. "Please stop." Harry begged closing his eyes. She shouldn't know but now she did. She pulled away from him eyes still wide.

"You're green eyes!" Harry watched her confused. She saw this. "I looked into Draco's mind once when he'd just... hmm well lets just say I think he loves you... more than me anyway... he's seen you watching him but in those times for some reason he never recognised your face..." She continued but Harry barely heard her. _Draco loves me? _"...but you do realise he loves me too and I love him and we're together and so you can't have him!" Blaise ended quickly.

"As long as he's happy I don't care. You keep him safe or I swear I will kill you." Blaise merely nodded at the threat. She knew he wasn't joking around. "And please... don't tell Draco." She nodded and watched Harry walk away. _I'm letting him go... he'll be happy with Blaise. She knows I love him now and hopefully I can trust her not to tell Draco..._

_--_

Draco walked after Blaise after he had finished his breakfast. Blaise was used to the threats by now and she would be ok on her own a while. He walked back towards Slytherin and someone walked into him. _Potter! _His trademark sneer graced his face.

"Potter would you mind watching where you are going!" He yelled.

"Sorry Draco..." Harry muttered before running off. _Draco? Since when Did Potter call me Draco and since when did he back away from a fight? _Shaking his head he ran back to the common room finding no one.

_--_

Harry ran along the corridor he could feel tears threatening to overflow. _Draco must you hurt me with your cold words? Can't you aim that beautiful smile towards me rather than Blaise some time? Could you love me? _Thoughts he dreamed for entered his head. Draco's arms wrapped around him and the two of them making love for the first time. He thought of marriage and children. Just of how wonderful their life could be if things were different. He felt himself running anywhere but the dungeons. Up stairs along corridors never slowing down. Minuets flew by.

Harry finally stopped finding himself in an old tower. The tower had no windows to stop anyone from falling. It only had a seat around the edge of the tower and the window. _If anyone fell from here it would look like an accident._ Harry was tempted but yet again he stopped himself for the sake of Draco. Harry sat on the part in front of the window and looked out. He brought his knees up towards him and cried. _Draco... _When Harry woke up he found himself plummeting to the ground.

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A/n It's longer! YAY! Well slightly longer anyway... Anyhow I'm lost again! Don't have any idea what I'm going to do next. Well I do but I don't... Anyhow I found friends at college and had a good day sorta. Then Then I found out my mate was having a misrible time and people were just ignoring her. No one should have to go through with that!! SHAME ON PEOPLE! hehe. Anyway today my other mate Hollie called because she hadn't found anyone to talk to and I'm glad she called me to phone 'cause makes me feel spech. I love her to pieces and I'm glad we're going to the same college but in diferent buildings. Not glad we're in different buildings but glad we're close. Anyway... ITS GETTING LONGER!! Shows what doing a fic during the day does :p Anyhow thanks to my two reviewers!

zoomaphonethepirate - Yeah I wana give Harry a hug too! -sniff- poor Harry! -thinks- Hey I'm doing this to Harry! :'( hits self with lamp Bad me bad bad me! hehe.

theTigersFire - wrote more! Ie I'm a truly wonderful person! :p


	7. Screaming and restrained

Chapter seven – Screaming and restrained

Harry opened his eyes to see horrors worse than he'd ever seen before. He could smell the blood. These tortures things he never wanted to witness were there in his view, a young girl in the corner trying to crawl away from a hooded death eater. Harry watched as the sledge hammer is brought down onto her feet then up again to bring it down onto her small body again breaking all her bones. A women hanging from the ceiling by her arms her bones dislocated. A death eater behind her whipping her. Her screams among others were loud. Blood coated her body and strips of flesh hanging from her. Across the other side of the room a naked man stretched out over a wall. A death eater slashing at him with a knife Harry turned from him a moment to late he saw the man being castrated. He sees a mother holding her baby. Death eater pulling at the child the mother screaming for her baby's life. The death eater carries the child straight towards Harry and places the baby boy on the desk in front of where Harry is sitting. Harry watches as an arm, his own? It wasn't his body he was seeing through the eyes of someone else. _Voldermort! I'm in his body!_ He watched as his arm raised and stabbed the baby. Harry screamed he didn't want to watch this. The baby screamed and Harry felt himself being pulled back to reality.

--

Harry tried to sit up but felt his arms and legs tied. He called out and Madam Pomfrey came rushing through.

"Harry dear! Oh God we were so scared! You've been crying and screaming in your sleep we had to restrain you! What happened dear?" Harry merely shook his head he never wanted to talk about it. Never again.

--

Blaise screamed as Lucius Malfoy stepped away from the shadows. He clapped a hand around her mouth and dragged her to the fireplace he'd had connected to the floo system. She found herself at the Riddle house. _No no no no no no!_ She screamed in her mind. She struggled against Lucius who then hit her over the head knocking her unconscious.

--

Draco rushed around the Slytherin dungeons and then looked around the places she would normally be found. _Come on Blaise be around baby. I need you. _He heard screaming from the infirmary as he rushed in that direction. When he got there he found a screaming Harry Potter, restrained and crying.

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A/n Took a while because I've been at college :D Which by the way I love!! This still ain't very long but my brother is about to kick me off here so be thankful :P

Thankyou reviewers!

Tamyka - Thank you! Is this a good direction I'm not sure.

Shoe Malfoy - I never used to like Slash much but now I love the stuff and it's all I read! :D

MerlinHalliwell - Thank you! :D

ArtemisDracoROCK- No Threats. They scare me hides Hehe.

zoomaphonethepirate - No Harry/Draco yet maybe in the next chapter! Who knows. I've put them in the same place at least!! :p

Dracori - Yeah. Well until JKR says for sure if Blaise is a girl or boy I'm going to use Blaise as whatever I please. :D

o0clomalfoy0o - I made you cry! Awww huggles

Kuroi Kitty - yup Poor Harry. I'm soooo mean! Mwhahaha. shifty eyes

theTigersFire - Still don't know whats going to happen soooo you'll have to see about everything. Chapters are short because I don't really know how to make them any longer. I would do them on my laptop so I have no distraction but alas I am in mourning as it has died! :'( Woe is me!


	8. Where is Blaise?

Chapter eight - Where is Blaise?

Draco watched the screaming Harry awaken. He looked so pale and scared. Harry wiped away the tears. Draco watched his aunt Madam Pomfrey ask what happened but Harry refused to answer. Draco watched Poppy walk away from Harry after undoing the restraints. Draco walked across the room.

Harry watched Draco. He pulled his knees up to his chest. He felt so alone at that moment. Draco had Blaise. Ron had Hermione. Seamus had Dean. All his friends had someone. Even though Draco was not his friend he still loved him and that was worse. He had no one. Harry tried to calm himself before Draco got to him.

"What's with all the screaming Potter?" Draco asked snidely. Harry flinched at the coldness.

"Nothing that would concern you Draco. Why are here anyway?" He tried to act normal but couldn't. He just talked to Draco like a friend. _God Draco please stop the coldness. I can't take it. _

"Blaise has gone missing. I thought maybe she could be here." An image of Blaise crossed his mind.

-- DREAM --

Blaise screamed. She felt Lucius bury into her again and again. She was in so much pain. Harry cried again. He didn't want to watch. He rushed to Blaise. She looked straight through him. Lucius finished with a slap and pulled her down to the cells underneath the manor. Harry followed. She was thrown in with another boy about the same age. He hugged her tightly.

-- END DREAM --

Draco slapped Harry. Harry looked up at Draco. Dull green eyes met dull grey eyes. Harry's hand went to his cheek. _Too many things going through my head. Vernon. He used to hit me like that before... before I ran away. _Harry thought of his own scars that littered his body. They were much like the ones Draco had himself. A tear slipped down his cheek.

"Potter what happened?!" Draco practically screamed.

"Blaise is with Lucius... well now she's with a boy in a cell." Draco looked at Harry strangely. "He took her. She was... was... um well she was raped... I'm sorry." Draco's eyes went wide.

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW!?" _He thinks I want to know! _Harry grew angry.

"Leave me." Harry said. Draco grabbed Harry's shoulders and shook him. Harry cried out. _I love him... why does he hurt me so?_

"Tell me!" Harry remained silent and Draco stormed off. Harry followed. He followed through the castle. He found himself in Snape's office. He listened outside the door.

--

_The basted better help me. _Draco thought as he walked to his Godfathers office. He was too deep in thought to realise his green eyed boy following.He walked into the office without knocking.Snape looked up to see his godson.

"Blaise is missing and Potter somehow knew she's with father. He... he raped her." Draco cried. "Please help her."

"Draco if Potter said it then it's probably true. He has visions." _He has visions! Oh God. That would be horrible. Seeing everything... Maybe even what I've been through... _"And if Lucius has her nothing can be done. Sorry Draco." Draco ran out of the door and down the corridor going into someone. Both fell to the floor. Draco looked at Harry.

"What are you doing here?! Following me?!"

--

Harry looked down. He looked up at Draco who had just asked him why he was there. _What does he think I'm going to say?! Yes I was following you. It was because I love you and I can't help but worry about you._ He stood up and ran off towards Gryffindor tower. He hadn't fully recovered from the fall or the dream but he didn't want to go to back to the infirmary.

--

_Why do I always see him now? God why I'm I thinking of him when my Blaise is with my father? How can I help her?!_

--

_Draco I'm sorry... I no longer love you.Well I do but I'm in love with Jack too, I didn't mean to love him but I do... _Blaise held onto Jack. He stroked her hair softly. They were both the prisoners of Lucius Malfoy. Jack was a squib in the Malfoy family and was being kept here away from the world. He would disgrace the Malfoy name.

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A/n sorry for this taking so long. I've just been kinda unhappiful and writing stuff hasn't really been on my list of things to cheer me up. Reading fictions sure but writing no. Anyway It's here now. 

Thank you reviewers!

ashley bluesummers - they'll be some slash scenes soon enough!

Tamyka - wish slash fictions would do my homework. lol

confuzedheart - I updated and thank you for liking the fiction.

zoomaphonethepirate - ok they'll end up together soon... Well maybe not but they'll be talking or in the same room a lot :p

ArtemisDracoROCK - Mwhahaha gruesome indeed.

jocelyn-R - You love it! Well who doesn't :p hehehehe.

SilverDragon161- yes go do your work!!! Well after reading AND reviewing my fiction! lol

Shoe Malfoy - sorry about shortness but this one is longer!

theTigersFire - spech poor laptop. lol

Picc136- well I am writting. hehehe. Blaise is just someone to help him feel rather than cutting. So he doesn't feel alone.

Goddess of Gorgeousness - I am continuing now and I am treating cutting with respect, well I think I am...


	9. Back to his own pain

Chapter nine - Back to his own pain.

* * *

A cut. Something he hadn't done in a while. He couldn't stand the pain anymore. The pain Draco caused him without even knowing it. He hated the feelings of being alone. It was the way he was meant to be though. Alone. That's how he would live. He would watch over Draco, the man he loved the man who also hurt. He didn't know what he was doing to Harry but he was. Another cut. Slowly bleeding and aching. He cared no longer. He'd spent so much time in Draco's pain he no longer felt his own. He wrapped himself in Draco but since the fall he started taking his own pain back. His pain the pain he could rely on.

--

Blaise snuggled into Jack for the night hoping that Draco's father would leave her be. Alas it wasn't going to happen. Lucius pulled her out violently by her hair into a cell. Tools of torture were all around the rooms. She knew this wouldn't be a good night like many of her other nights. She cried throughout. She wished for death. She wished it would come quickly. The whip came down onto her. Flesh opening and bleeding. By the end of the night she was unconscious and bleeding thrown back into the cell with Jack.

Jack pulled her back into her arms and cried freely. He had no power and could not help her. He only hoped she would survive. He pulled off his tattered shirt and carried her carefully to the sink in the small cell. He cleaned her wounds and wrapped them in his shirt. He didn't know what he would do without her anymore.

--

Draco wandered the halls not knowing where he was going he didn't care. He followed his feet. He found himself in an old tower. He looked around the room noticing nothing odd but the smell. Smelt like the coppery blood. He lit the room with his wand and gasped. A raven haired boy curled in the foetal position. He ran to them. He turned them over he saw the green eyes staring back at him. He couldn't help but gasp. His eyes trailed up at the scar. _My green eyed boy. Harry... I'm so sorry. Please don't die. I'm so so sorry! _His tears fell onto Harry's face. He wiped them away. Harry looked away, they weren't only Draco's tears.

Harry looked up at Draco. He no longer cared. His love didn't love him anyway. He loved Blaise. _I'm an idiot to ever believe. _He only believed the tears to be from pity. He was sure they were.

"Harry?" Harry looked back up to his love. "I'm sorry." Harry's heart beat a million miles an hour. He was no were near dying. His cut's weren't deep. He'd just curled up. "Harry don't die." Harry chuckled slightly and sat up.

"I'm not dying Draco..." Draco lifted Harry's wrists and saw they were indeed no where near deeo enough to kill someone. Draco let out a breath of relief. Harry stood up and cleaned the room. He went to the door. He turned just before walking through. "I could never leave you to die in this world." Harry turned and left. Draco watched not able to move.

* * *

Sorry for lateness!! :( 

Thanks to my reviewers!

Idiot-roses- no recoverie's CHECK! :P

InsideMyWorld- Hehe Thanks!! :D

Hannah.xxx- Thanks!! :D

SilverDragon161- did you work? Hmm gives that look Well Harry and Draco are getting closer to the talk. As you have prob read they do know now. And uhh -sheepish look- Sorry about lateness...

Tamyka- I'm glad I made your day hun. All these reviews kept making my days!! More? :P Draco will find out about Blaise soon... that's all I'm saying :P

HollieJE- LOVE YOU HUNNI!! Gives middle finger People prob think I'm being rude now but I'm not!! Pffft. I will beat everyone with reviews!! Then take over the world MWhahahahahaha!! Hehe Talk to you soon hunni!!

jocelyn-R- Thank you!! :D

Goddess of Gorgeousness- yea I agree Jack was kind of sudden. Hmm. maybe should have hinted before but I hadn't really thought about it. Was going with the flow of things. It's just like if you were locked up with some guy who was looking after you I think a lot of people would like the support. Maybe that's just me though. I know what you mean with the cutting thing. It won't be like that. I don't even know how this is going to end... Hope you enjoyed!! :D

Anime101- I updated. Please don't kill me!! -cowers in corner-

theTigersFire- I know poor Draco. Poor Blaise. Poor Harry!! : I'm so mean!

Takuto-kun- Uhh sorry it's another short chapter but I'm just writing chapters when I have the time and lately I haven't really had the time.

Justajester- I feel sorry for them both too! You didn't feel sorry for Draco though!! -gasps- :P

kirsty- Thank you :D

vamprincess1986- I know it's you!! :D Thanks for reading!! :)


	10. A new ‘home’ and a new roommate

**Chapter ten - A new 'home' and a new roommate**

Blaise and jack shivered against the cold. The snuggled together keeping what little warmth they had. Lucius would never supply blankets to the people in the cold. He was too cruel to do something so nice. After the last beating Blaise had been through no more had come. It had been over a month since then. They were barely alive living on the scraps of food they were given and the small amount of water for them to Drink. She was only glad she didn't get the beatings and rapes lately she wouldn't survive them. She knew that much. She was too weak to survive.

--

Harry stared at his wrists again. He just couldn't do it. He could not physically slit them anymore. His love and need to protect Draco was stopping him. He loved Draco and could never leave Draco alone to die. He knew Draco would if he didn't stay Draco had already tried to 'fall' off of his broom during Quiditch. He couldn't let anything happen to Draco ever! He took the razor to his arms instead slashing it deeply. Blood made patterns around his arm. Swirls or red flowing over his pale skin. The contrast made him smile. _Pain is the key to my existence. The blood is the key to my life. The blade is the key to my pain. _His thoughts gloomy. Always of either death, his pain or Draco's pain. A never ending circle of pain and unhappiness.

--

Draco wandered around the place not knowing or caring what he did. He'd lost the girl he loved and his green eyed boy was someone his despised… well he thought he did. He knew Harry had saved him several times now. He knew Harry watched him. He knew he could never hate the boy and that in a way he loved him. Then he thought of Blaise and he would go into his confused state. He would wonder around not noticing anyone. Lessons, meals and just walking around, the days all blurred. There was no meaning to his existence anymore. The one he loved was gone. Dead or as good as. He couldn't take the unhappiness. He just wanted to be rid of his pathetic excuse for his life.

--

Blaise and jack followed Lucius slowly not knowing what to expect. Not knowing what was going to happen to them they didn't get to go out of the cell much this was a first. Lucius pushed them into another cell in which another woman was sat on the floor. She had red hair and had her head rested on her knees.

"Your new home. I hope you are happy with your new roommate Evans. Enjoy." Lucius smirked turned then slammed the cell door. Laughing echoed down the corridor. The woman raised her head. Green eyes looked back at the two new occupants in her cell. Thecell she had been in fifteen years.

* * *

To my reviewers! :D 

vanishingact - -hides- Don't kill me!! :

topps - have done! Thanks for the review :)  
dracomalfoychick- have continued thanks for the review! :)

Drag - I didn't think the day would come either!! It may have come but the acceptance has still yet to happen Mwhahahaha!!

Idiot-roses- Who doesn't love Lucius!! :P But alas no torture scene today... maybe if you're good I'll give you one for Christmas :D heehee. Reviews are very good -cough-hint-cough- :P

InsideMyWorld- Well it took time for me to write that last one but it's not been so long to do this one. Don't come track me down!! -hides-


	11. He's alive

**Chapter eleven – He's alive… **

Blaise looked to the redheaded women on the floor. The women glared at the two new occupants in the room. They were not welcome with her. All those years knowing that it was her fault that her only son and her husband had died all those years. It had turned her to despair not caring about anyone. She no longer cared for herself only eating when Lucius forced her to do so. He wanted to taunt her by making her live. She felt like she was in her own little Azkaban. Only her bad memories to keep her company. Now a young girl and boy were here annoying her further. They just continued to stare at her.

"Lily Evans? Harry Potters mother?" The girl asked. Lily glared at the girl while swallowing the growing lump in her throat. It was the first time anyone had spoken the name Harry Potter in many years. Lucius had stopped taunting her about the death of her son and husband years ago as it had stopped being as amusing for him as she would merely go into her own world of memories.

"Yes. What's it to you?" Lily replied rudely. The girls eyes widened and she continued to stare. Lily sighed. "You do realise it is rude to stare." Blaise pulled herself together.

"Sorry it's just… You're supposed to be dead!" Jack placed an arm around her trying to calm her as she grew hysterical. "My God all these years you've been alive!" Lily rolled her eyes.

"Yes I am alive what does it matter?" Lily was bored of the noisy chatter from the girl. For the past few years she was used to her silence. The numbing silence. Except of course when her screams echoed through the dungeons from when she was beaten. Amazingly Lucius had never been there to do these beatings. He was the one to feed her and bathe her but never hurt her. _Wonder why he never has. Sure he's hurt me emotionally but never physically… _

"It's just… you're like a hero in the wizarding world and for you to be alive is amazing! It's just like Harry being alive! The news that you are in fact alive! It means you survived too!" Blaise rambled.

"Harry's alive…" Lily asked. It was barely a whisper but Jack heard. He smiled at the small gleam of hope in her eyes. She might get her son back. She knew from that moment she needed to escape from this hell of a place.

--

Harry hadn't meant to. Not meant to slit his wrists. He had wanted to but it had not been something planned. It hadn't been his fault he had run into Draco. It wasn't his fault Draco had once again started to taunt him. It wasn't his fault he had punched Draco in the face and bruising Draco's beautiful face. Harry knew now. Knew he could never be with Draco. Him being alive was damaging the one he loved… It was his fault. All of it. He deserved it and he deserved the pain flowing through him. He had hit Draco. He was no better than his uncle… his eyes closed and he drifted off.

---Dream---

Blaise smiled at the boy hugging her. It seemed she was excited about something. You couldn't be sure about what though. Her words were silent. Instead a women's voice spoke. _I wonder what he looks like? I can't believe my son survived the killing curse. My baby Harry… my son the boy who lived. When I get out of here I promise you Harry Potter that I'll take care of you no matter what! I wonder how old he is. Must be about six or seven. I can't have been here as long as its felt… could it?_

---End Dream---

Harry woke up. The cuts on his wrists had healed. He didn't know how. There was no way he could have healed that quickly. _Someone must have helped me… but whom? _That's when his mind went back to the dream he had just had.

"Mom…"

* * *

A/n it is a tiny little bit longer than normal...

Thanks tomy reviewers!

vanishingact- you are one scary person!! Don't kill me! -begs for life-

InsideMyWorld- MWhahaha yes I am saying that! And yes too short I know!

Gryffindorgrl86- Well Lucius has locked her up but HE hasn't hurt her but others have. You shall see why later! :D

Tamyka- Draco has never stopped I just haven't mentioned him as much, more of him in later chapters though! Oh yes! YAY!! someone likes short chapters!! -hugs-

SlytherinRomantic - I'm not evil cliffy person. I'm nice wonderful person... honest! XD

Samwise Gamgee - Shall do!

Idiot-roses- I hope you enjoyed!

jaws002963 - am sorry it took a long time!

smilesing- scorry!! I am trying!!

theTigersFire- Ta Da!! You guessed what I was going to do! Clever clogs! teehee! Glad you're addicted! :D

topps - I am continuing!!


	12. past and present

_Chapter twelve _

Draco knew it. He had grown soft. He couldn't let the boy die, not after what he had done. He knew it was his own fault. He knew that Harry would never have punched him without the cruel words he had spoken. He knew that Harry wouldn't have tried to slit his wrists if it hadn't have been for him. He followed his green eyed boy knowing he had to say something knowing that Harry had the strength to die much like he had it but he also knew Harry was the last of his sanity. Maybe that was the reason Draco did it, his own selfish reasons, or maybe it was because he loved the green eyed boy. The boy who had saved him from death. The boy who he had now saved.

--- Flashback ---

"Get away from me Potter." Draco spat as Harry fell to the floor. "I don't want your filthy orphan body anywhere near me!" He knew it would hurt Harry. He wanted to hurt the boy. The one who would save him for death. Death that he wanted to wrap around himself. "I wish you would just kill yourself so I wouldn't have to have your filthy halfblooded hands on me ever again!" He knew it had hit a nerve as a punch flew at him. It was painful, more so because it was from his green eyed boy. Harry gasped and ran off.

Draco followed the boy. Followed the sobs. Followed the tears and finally once the sound of crying left his ears he followed the blood. He knew what had happened. Harry was strong to last this long but Draco knew that those words were going to be the end of Harry if he didn't help. Once he'd found Harry slumped in a room breathing shallowly. The boy's eyes were closed and for that Draco was thankful. He didn't want Draco to know. He healed the cuts on Harry's wrists, kissed each wrist lightly and left the room knowing that Harry would be ok after that.

--- End Flashback ---

Draco only wished he could have helped Harry more. He wished they could have been friends. Maybe if Harry had accepted his hand in the first year things may have been different.

--

Maybe if he hadn't turned cold, maybe if he had of had a decent life maybe if he could have had a different family, then just maybe he could have been with her. The redheaded women locked in his own cells. The one he had been ordered to kill but instead had insisted he kept her forever taunting her with the deaths of her son and husband. He knew of course young Harry Potter was alive but she did not know that. He'd never laid one finger on her as she was nestled deep down in his heart from his childhood dreams. He knew if he ever hurt her a cut would form over his heart leaving him to slowly die. The cut already deep from where he had taunted her, the unbearable pain from his heart but yet that felt nothing compared to her choosing James over himself.

* * *

A/n – I think I should explain the last paragraph as it is a little confusing to even me who wrote it! I'm just tired people! Anyway basically he loves her in his heart but from the moment she chose James over him he's started to hate her. So basically he loves her enough that he can't kill her or hurt her but hates her enough to taunt her with the deaths of her son and husband and keep her locked up and alive.

* * *

--- Flashback ---

"It's the way it had to be Lucius. You knew I couldn't be with you. You are of darkness and James is of the light." How could she possibly know that he too longed for the light? She couldn't. "I may have lusted for you Lucius but I could never love someone from the darkness." How he wished she would love him, how he wished she knew he wanted to be light and doing this to him was basically throwing him into back into darkness. "Bye Lucius." She turned from him. Turned away and ran into James arms. James smirked at his competitor. He had the one thing they both wanted more than anything. This time the light had won. From that moment Lucius knew the darkness would have to win the final war.

* * *

A/n I'm tired. Hope you enjoyed thanks reviewers and umm I shall thank you next time cause right now I'm lazy and tired... Night night... 


	13. Sat in the rain

Harry walked to the lake and sat by the edge in the rain not caring if he became ill. Not as though he would, he never did. _Wonder why he does it? _Crossed his mind…

Thoughts only flitted across those thoughts and landed onto what he really needed to think about. Someone had saved him, he felt he knew who. How could it be though? When Draco hated him so much… He sat out there for a long time not knowing or caring exactly how long he'd been sat in the rain. Not noticing the greyish blue eyes watching him.

--

Draco was trying to get the courage to walk over and confront the other boy, his green eyed boy, the saviour. He hated Harry though, well he thought he did but all these thoughts. The times Harry had saved him without a second thought, not caring of even his own safety. Draco knew though, that he loved him as well. _But Blaise…_He felt the guilt again. He needed to find her before pursuing any feeling's he had for Potter. Turning away he left behind the boy sat in the rain not looking towards Harry again.

--

Lily smiled slightly as she started thinking like she used to, she never planned trying to escape before. There was nothing to escape for, her son and husband were dead, but her son was now alive! She needed to get out there, she needed to look after him. Their first plan, so simple it was sure to fail, but the timing would work. It had to work. The strongest guard was a werewolf and would be off on the full moon to change leaving the younger weaker guard alone. Lily would bring him closer to their cell through flirtation, she used to be a pro… she only hoped that this skill hadn't been lost. She'd grab him to the cell so Blaise could grab the keys from his belt. After opening the cell and knocking the man unconscious, they would run. Now all they had to wait for the next full moon.

All of them forget one error in their plan, the werewolf that would be guarding the outside of the manor.

--

Severus sighed watching Harry sitting out in the rain once again, as much as he despised the boy he wouldn't let the boy be killed by pneumonia. Once again he walked out a wrapt a blanket around the boy and escorted him back into the castle.

The boy stood still, saying nothing, he just stood; watching. Sighing he walked off into the castle, that's how it always went. Severus would escort him in but never would say a word. Neither did… until a soft 'thank you' would echo down the halls so softly it was almost inaudible, but Severus heard it. Every time.

--

A/n, it's crap, it'sshort and ittook me ages to update, it'll get better as I get back into the swing of things I promise! Please review the crappy shortness, and don't say it's too short, CAUSE I KNOW! PS. I'm in a very bad mood so review nicely.


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